Nightmare comes true?

Assalamualaikum.

Second post for the day.

Just finished islit class, where I am the only single student! Suprisingly Dr. M also said that this is his first experience to have only one student too.

Okay, that is not the nightmare I want to tell about.

Hmm...

From the first day of becoming a MA student, I told myself, I must finish everything on time. Which means in 4 semesters and that was also a reason for me to do my MA in coursework mode. I believed that the process I had to deal with is easier if I am doing coursework. So yeah. That was my impression at first.

So I prayed a lot for Allah, to let me pass all these in 4 semesters, and graduate on time.

But I dont know, if my prayer will be granted, or saved for better perhaps?

I am at that stage where I am losing my direction, I have no control over my own life. Bcs I have to depend on other people to accept what I want. (if you don't understand i don't care)

I do not know what awaits me tomorrow, next week, next month, next year?

Perhaps I have to change my life plan? Start all over again?

I am not sure.

For a moment I just want to scream,

I just want to cry my heart out,

I just want somebody not to judge me.

But console me and still believe in me.

I don't know.